The Loneliness Cure works on three levels
- You with Yourself – your relationship to yourself, your ability to live in your own skin and feel at home. This includes allowing yourself to notice your own feelings and needs without shame, blame, or judgement. Feeling more ease and trust with yourself feels amazing. Coming home to yourself is a big part of easing loneliness.
- You with Another – Relationships are where most of us notice our loneliness. We want closer friends. We want loving partnership. We want harmony with our co-workers and family. Coaching in listening and communication, asking for what you want and setting boundaries, and learning to touch are all significant parts of creating connection with the significant others in your life.
- You with Community – What’s your place in the bigger, broader scheme of the world and community you live in? Do you feel at home in the world? Do you think there are people who are safe and trustworthy “out there”? Our group cuddling events and consent workshops are the primary way the Loneliness Cure helps you with your Community relationships.
Since January 2017, we’ve been hosting group cuddling and consent workshops in and around Boulder, CO.
The following are some of the rules and event descriptions as well as pictures from many of the events. Our next event is September 9th. Register here and experience safe touch with a welcoming community for yourself. Enjoy!
We would love to have people of all backgrounds, genders, ethnicities, races, spiritual or religious beliefs, sizes, and ages, (18 and over please) come together to enjoy respectful, consent-based, platonic touch. This event will follow the rules of cuddleparty.com – see below.
We will be in NE Boulder. The exact location is available after you register and purchase your ticket.
Please arrive between 3:30 and 3:45. Please give yourself plenty of time to get lost, and get found. We’ll start the Welcome Circle at 4. This is a closed event. Doors lock at 4 unless you get special permission to arrive late.
Community Cuddles Itinerary
3:30 PM – Cuddlers arrive, help set up blankets and pillows, share snacks, get a feel for the space, and socialize.
4 PM – Welcome Circle. This is the most important part of the event and we ask that all attendees be present for the whole Welcome Circle. This part of the event will include practice setting boundaries and communicating around consent. We are back inside so the doors will lock once we are finished introductions in the Welcome Circle. An exception may be made for a late arrival if you have attended Community Cuddles before and you give us advanced notice that you will be late.
5 – 6:30 PM – Open cuddling! Per cuddle party rules, you MUST ask and get a verbal ‘yes’ before touching or cuddling with anybody at this event and you don’t have to touch anyone ever. If you are not sure how to do this – great! We will talk about it during the Welcome Circle.**
6:30 – 6:45 PM — Closing Circle. Share insights and takeaways before helping to fold up the blankets, finish the snacks, and head home.
7 PM – Room cleaned and everyone has said their goodbyes or made plans to meet elsewhere.
ARRIVE ON TIME: It is important that all participants arrive before the Welcome Circle. The Welcome Circle serves the purpose of creating the safe space for consensual, non-sexual touch between participants and making sure that everyone is informed about the rules of cuddling.* While you must arrive on time (by 4) you may leave at any time.
HOW TO PREPARE: Shower and brush your teeth but don’t use strong scents. Many of us get headaches or would rather not be close to someone who smells of cigarettes, perfume, or even essential oils. Your clean self is a good smell.
BE SOBER: Do not drink or smoke before or at this event.
WHAT TO WEAR: Pants and a shirt. Pajamas. Sweatpants, yoga pants, onesies, t-shirts, sweatshirts are all welcome – anything that you feel comfortable in. Please stay clothed in a minimum of shorts and a t-shirt for the entire event. Please do not wear anything that you consider sexy or risque – think elementary school slumber party.
WHAT TO BRING: Snacks are potluck. If you’d like to munch please bring healthy snacks to share. Blankets, pillows, and anything else cuddly help make the space more comfortable. The only thing that you are required to bring is a clean and sober you.
THE RULES OF CUDDLING
1. Clothes stay on for the whole event.
2. You do not have to touch anyone at a Community Cuddles event, ever.
3. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. Please be specific in your requests.
4. If you’re yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.
5. If you’re a maybe, say NO. You can always change your mind, in fact –
6. You are encouraged to change your mind.
7. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
8. Get your facilitator or assistant if you have a question or concern or if you need assistance with anything during the event.
9. Tears and laughter are both welcome.
10. Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Community Cuddles.
11. Keep the cuddle space tidy. No one likes to cuddle in a puddle!
Touch is a basic human need, and many of us do not get enough. In fact, most people don’t even know they are missing touch, or have a way to ask for touch without sexualizing it. As certified cuddlists, we provide individual cuddling sessions and help our clients learn how to ask for the touch they need. We believe deeply in the power of touch, and the importance of communication and consent in creating a safe space for touch. Community Cuddles events are a way for us to bring the value of cuddling to more people and share our passion with the community.
Community Cuddles brings together people from different walks of life to explore giving and receiving loving touch together. Not only that, but it promotes a culture that is built around consent! You do not have to do anything that you don’t want to at our Group Cuddle – you’re completely at choice.
CUDDLING WITH STRANGERS
Cuddling with strangers sounds weird to most people, and often scary. “Will I like it?” “What if someone wants to touch me and I don’t want to?” “What if I say yes and it’s not what I want?” “What if I really want to touch someone and they say no?” Are all normal concerns.
My response to all of them begins “This is a space created to ask for exactly what you want, and receive NOTHING you don’t want. You may not get everything you ask for, but more than anywhere else, here you are encouraged to ask for what you want, and say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ to anything that you do not want.”
Many people start out nervous at a cuddle event. Most are really, really glad they came.
If you’d like to hear about future Cuddles and other touch and quality gatherings, join our group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/CommunityCuddles or follow the Cuddle Kassandra facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CuddleKassandra
Our Group Cuddle is a group cuddling event and we love it – it is NOT a cuddleparty.com official Cuddle Party. Vega DeLeon hosts official Cuddle Parties in the Boulder/Denver area and we recommend you go to her events, too.